The Complications of being Technically Homeless

Dear Vili

So currently waiting oh so happily at home are thousands of boxes, that currently hold my things from university and one small box which should be filled with things i’m taking to China. Please note the word should in the previous sentence because as of last week I’ve been using it as a laundry basket… So Packing going great!

I have however developed a brilliant strategy with dealing with the enormous amount of packing and preparation that needs to be achieved… running away from it. its a brilliant strategy that right now has left me slightly technically homeless or at least sofa surfing on a rather large scale.

alas this strategy of running very fast away from all forms of responsibility has a downside and that downside is that i’m only doing it because of a play. YES! a play! what play i hear you metaphorically ask over the magical inerwebbies, could is possibly be the play you mentioned early in another post, why yes oh wise reader it is the play i really hope i mentioned in a previous post. but encase I’ve fucked it here’s a recap:

I, a second year Theatre and Performance student decided to dedicate my precious drinking time to be productive and take part in a play that celebrates the 400 year legacy of William Shakespeare and Tang Xianzu, both of whom are very famous play wrights that just so happen to die in the same year.

(I would like to point out that no one actually ever sore both play writes in the same room together COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!)

alright dad jokes aside this is actually a pretty awesome thing, and if you’re into theatre at all i suggest you do some googling as both guys are pretty interesting, i will also place a donation link below because we needs the money to tour the project.

ANYWAYYYY… the play is going to the good old fringe festival so i’m needed back in Leeds to rehearse and just generally bring my sarcastic insecure awesome to the table. Now one of the issues with returning to Leeds while planning on living in China for a year is that i don’t have a house…. Hence the epic level of sofa crashing that is currently consuming my life. And believe me i do mean consume, I am by nature a planner. I like to know what i’m doing and have a time of which i am performing said thing. Don’t get me wrong i don’t plan everything and i’m cool to wing it occasionally however what i cannot wig in the slightest is where i’m planning on staying for a night and as such sofa surfing has been rather stressful but i have created a small guide on how to survive being technically homeless and an expert freeloader.

Tip No.1 – DON’T BRING A SUITCASE.

So you’re travelling for a month and like me you’re not sure whats in the many houses you plan on staying at have, so you try to find ways of getting as much as you possibly can into a suitcase that practically includes the kitchen sink, You of course have to much to pack so a ruck sack has been crossed out, what you don’t realise is that you’re gonna have to carry that suitcase up many many hills and because luck just hates you its gonna be HOT and i’m not talking about that nice gentle heat that allows for dresses i’m talking the hot sticky crap that clings to you like a second layer of skin.

So throw out what ever is unnecessary and take a backpack because after the first hill the suitcase can start to seem like the worst idea in the world.

Tip N0.2 – Have Back ups.

I learnt this one the hard way when a house i was planning on staying at suddenly fell through (thanks to a bunch of squatters and a rats nest) i was left with about 1 hour to find another place to crash i would be sleep on a bench, luckily i have a whole bunch of people i can bother at a minuets notice and was able to stay with someone but you can bet from now on i’m going to have back up houses for backup houses!

Tip No.3 – Clean Dat Shite Up!

This is pretty simple, you’re staying at someones house using there water, electricity and precious WIFI. You clean like your life depends on it, you act like a mother f’in house wife and you bet you’re supper productive clean ass that you will be allowed to stay there again.

Tip No.4 – Don’t pack to much!

I came to this conclusion half way up a hill, my suitcase sub-coming to the pulls of gravity, a sainsburys carrier bag digging into my hand, my rucksack leaving attractive whelps on my arms pits, sweat visible just all over, breathing hard as the sun punished me for whatever heinous crimes i committed in a previous life.

Sometimes, those extra pair of pumps just aren’t worth it.

So Vili, that is my life currently, the company from China arrives tomorrow and you can bet i will tell you all about them! plus recently it seems liek life wont slow down so you can bet theirs gonna be a few interesting stories to happen!

Love you like always!

 

DONATE HERE!!

27 Mile walk for China Performance

 

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